


freshly brewed tea

by AI3LAZE



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Suicide, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29665848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AI3LAZE/pseuds/AI3LAZE
Summary: a love message *akaashi's pov*
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	freshly brewed tea

**Author's Note:**

> This is in an alternative universe <3
> 
> i only wrote this because i was bored and wanted to take a break from the 10000+ word story im writing currently

here's me trying a new format

notes-  
‘this idea popped into my mind and it really fucked with my soul for a bit so I decided to write it down. I was listening to ‘what falling in love feels like jake25.17’ while writing this’ -author  
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+  
freshly brewed tea  
(a love message)  
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Hey, I know it's been a while, and I just wanted to say that I miss you. I’ve missed you a lot ever since you passed. I love you. I love you so much. I can’t even describe my grief when you were announced dead, at 6:45 am. I wish I could’ve said my last goodbyes, but life is pretty unfair. I know you won’t see this, but I hope you are happy. I hope you're glad about your decisions in life and I still wonder to this day what has gone wrong. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you in every up and down of your life, but I tried. I'm here, in this world, because of you. You helped me feel love for the first time. Thank you. Being in a relationship with you was the first year i’ve felt happy. It was the first time I've felt appreciated. I just want to thank you for everything you did for me, even though I couldn't help you fight off the demons in your head. I wish I could, but I'm weak. I can’t do anything right. I hope you forgive me. I remember the times when we used to spend time in the parks and you used to always be fascinated by the cherry blossoms every spring. You would always pick some off the ground and put them in my hair. I can’t express the joy that brought me every time I saw you smile. I loved every ‘goodnight’ or ‘good morning text you’d send me. They would always motivate me to do something new, to focus on school or volleyball. I still read over them today. I would always feel happy when the typing bubble popped up after I sent a text. You were so good to me, and I don’t know how to return everything back. I wish I can spend another day with you, I wish I can feel your presence beside me during volleyball. It isn’t the same ever since, it's never been the same. You inspired me so much, you taught me how to be a good person- how to live and fight my fears. I can’t even think of anything I can do to repay you back. I remember when we built that snowman last year with Kuroo and Kenma. It turned out kinda- fucked, but you were so proud of yourself. I learned how to be grateful for my own achievements, how to love myself because of you. I wish the monsters in your head went away before it was too late. They never left, didn’t they? You could’ve told me. I could’ve fought them off for you. The day you decided to take your own life away, I couldn’t focus on anything except you. I couldn’t imagine my best friend dying. I didn’t want to see you on the cold hospital bed, holding on just for death to take over your beautiful soul. I wish I could’ve figured things out before you left the world. I hope everything's going well up there, and you are being loved. I promise to visit you once in a while. I know you probably won’t be able to read this, but it’s worth sending. See you later. -Akaashi Keiji


End file.
